Question by mass hole!: Found out the racist gf/ex is and had been texting other guys, Initial time this has happened to me!?!?!? The past week or so I started seeing the recent racist ex again. Actually spent New Year's in Sedona and had a truly good time - and while it was never spoken we held ourselves out as back together. When we got property right now around lunch time a few of her buddies invited her out. Because I was still quite hungover from New Year's I decided to go to the gym instead to sweat some of the crap out but we agreed to touch base a few hours later. Later in the afternoon when I spoke with her she was pretty drunk already and, oddly, changed the subject when I offered to go meet up with the group that was out. Didn't truly care although as I didn't want to drink so i told her I could give her a ride later if she couldn't find 1.
She referred to as about 7 or so, wasted, asking for a ride residence. Went and got her and brought her back to my apartment so she could sleep it off and I could maintain watching the games. She proceeded to puke her guts out in my apt parking lot and continued on and off in my bathroom for about an hour. Although she was puking her phone kept going off. I ignored it at initial but right after about 7-8 texts in a short span I checked her phone to make sure there wasn't an emergency. I noticed the name of 1 of her ex-bfs with text saying he was heading to bed and couldn't hang out tonight. I couldn't aid but read the message exchange and she had asked him to hang out later and that she missed him. A few names down I noticed an additional ex-bf's name and read that exchnage too. Read that she had asked him to come up tonight to have sex. Felt right away like a person punched me in the stomach. Read it a couple of more times to understand that context, and she may well not have been severe as his responses suggested this was not a normal request, but regardless it was her thought and he was a lot more than willing. There weren't any prior messages suggesting this type of exchang happened just before, but I did discover a couple of pictures (not nude ones) she had sent to him in the middle of the summer when we had been what seemed like happily dating.
As I am reading this she is still in my bathroom. In shock, which I still type of am as I type this, I didn't really know what to do. Thought about going over and confronting her but figured she was too drunk for that to do any very good. Instead I got her cleaned up, brought her back to her house, put her in her bed, collected what I could of the couple of things I had over there, and left a note with her stuff letting her know what I discovered and that it embarassed me and was surprised, given how cheating had negatively affected her family, that she'd do this. Right after that I just left. I didn't know what to do genuinely. Thought about taking the ipad I got her for her fairly recent birthday, but figured that may not be worth it and to just chalk it up to expense of stupidity.
Never had this occur before. What's weird is I don't feel pissed, I'm not terribly hurt, but just feel like this is surreal and I got punched challenging in the stomach. I knew I wasn't going to marry this girl and there is no reason to be totally shocked by this. However, I would have moreso understood if this had happened throughout the two brief periods where we weren't seeing each other - heck I had a couple of flirty exchanges in the course of those times (but absolutely nothing sexual). Not actually positive what to do here for the short-term. She's going to wake up tomorrow hungover and will locate that note. I don't know if I'll respond. A part of me kind of wants to indirectly out here, but I haven't accomplished anything like that yet. I want to go to sleep and get up and merely enjoy the day tomorrow, but rigth now I'm fairly shocked. Completely feel for everyone who has been really cheated on by a loved 1 or spouse - can't imagine how awful that ought to feel. Yuck.
ETA: Had in no way really gone through her phone before other than situations like this where I was just checking who was texting her and why in case it was essential. I hate snooping so I feel type of upset at myself for reading further when I saw the names. I envision if she decides to try to location blame on me for this she's going to say I was snooping by way of her phone.
Btw she is 21 I'm 25
Best answer: Answer by Brownie
Move on and end all contact with her...you are just wasting your time.
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Found out the racist gf/ex is and had been texting other guys, First time this has happened to me!?!?!?
